Love… How much we put into this concept, how often we pronounce this word, how much this phenomenon means to us. But how many people really understand what love is? What is the true essence of this phenomenon, why does it exist on the planet Earth?
For some, love is something sublime, divine, extraordinary, given to us from above. For others, it is just an instinct of sexual reproduction, where there is no place for any high feelings. The truth most likely lies somewhere in the middle…
Do we (especially men) always manage to distinguish genuine, true love from pretense and falsehood? This refers to the love of a woman in relation to a man. What is the true love of a man for a woman – in principle, it is clear: it is care, courtship, assistance, support, providing for a family, etc. Therefore, it is easy to distinguish the false love of a man for a woman. This is a domestic dictatorship, where a girl/wife has no more rights than a broken toilet; this is an indifferent, dismissive attitude towards her, a desire to live at her expense, etc. This is so to speak, for the girls to note:)
PS Patriarchal relationships, by the way, are also an example of false love, and this false love is manifested on both sides. But this is a completely different topic…
So, regarding the love of a woman/girl for a man/guy, everything is somewhat more complicated. It is extremely important for us, the representatives of the male sex, to understand the differences between real female love and a vile hypocritical fake. This means normal, sane men, and not those who have a female cap replacing their mind and heart;
Let's consider the above-mentioned differences in the following signs: loyalty, condescension, kindness, attitude to other people, manipulation and a couple more signs from below:
1. Loyalty. It's no secret that a girl/wife should be faithful to her chosen one. But there are hidden pitfalls and reefs. In true female love, a girl will remain faithful simply because it is her chosen one, because they are together. In a fake love, the girl/wife will be faithful to the man as long as he supports her, cares for her, provides, entertains, etc.Many men do not understand this, thinking that the chosen one really loves them, since she has never cheated on them. And she did not change only because it is simply unprofitable for her now
2.Condescension. It is, of course, about leniency in the good sense of the word. And not about arrogance, arrogance, a sense of superiority. A good, kind girl will love a guy / man as he is, so to speak ," for beautiful eyes", with all his shortcomings. Of course, it is also impossible to be a pofigist. A cynical, selfish girl will love a man for something specific: for money, for status, for strength, for generosity towards her beloved. In her opinion, a man should not have any shortcomings and that's it.
3. Kindness. True love implies real kindness. When a girl seeks to do good to a guy (well, he also wants her), not expecting something in return, but out of a desire to please a person and see a happy happy smile on his face. And in a fake love, a girl will not only pump resources out of a man, but also periodically do him "good". We did not take this word in quotation marks by chance, because in this case the girl expects a man to definitely get something in return.
4. Attitude to other people. A good, kind girl will be friendly and sensitive to strangers, from whom she does not need anything. Of course, not to every person, because there are enough scoundrels and scoundrels among people. But initially a good girl is attuned to people with sympathy and kindness – this is where her true love manifests itself. And if a girl "loves" only her chosen one, and she doesn't care about the people around her, then what do you think this means? And this suggests that the girl is simply psychologically and physiologically dependent on her man, and there can be no question of any high feelings here! To better understand this, see point 2 again
5.Manipulations. The range of female manipulations is very wide, but for simplicity they can be divided into two types: explicit and secretive. In obvious manipulations, the girl says so directly to the man: "You owe me this and that. After all, you're a man! Is it too weak for you to look after a girl?" And in hidden manipulations, the girl will praise the man in every possible way, say compliments, help if possible. The purpose of both these and other manipulations is to pump out all possible types of resources from a man. Is it worth saying that all these are signs of fake love? It's just that there are no manipulations in real, true female love and there can not be any!
6. The range of roles. Immediately we note that in the real female love for a man, all his male roles are simply absent. For her, he is, first of all, a Person. And in her false love for him, he is for her the carrier and performer of any roles and functions: a supplier, a defender, a "stone wall", a mass entertainer, etc. The attitude of a toxic, selfish woman to a man is formulated something like this: "I will love you if only you will provide for me, protect, entertain, etc."
7. Interest/control. In true love, a girl / woman shows interest in a guy/man, in his affairs, in his hobbies, in his thoughts and feelings. But she does it gently, delicately and gently. As for his shortcomings, she tries to help him get rid of them in a feminine, tactful manner. In fake love, she wants to control him. Such a girl is constantly trying to keep a man in sight: "Where have you been? Why did you come so late? What are you going to do tomorrow? No, you'd better not do it this way, but do it this way! " It's all masked by noble motives: "Yes, I want the best. But in fact, she just wants to dominate a man; so that everything is just the way she wants it to be.
8 Her role in his life. A girl experiences fake love when she wants to completely bind a man to herself. So that she is the only person with whom a man will spend his time. Friends, fishing, hunting, sports, at best, are relegated to the tenth plan. No, of course, if all this contributes to the satisfaction of her wishlist, then let her hunt, play sports – the main thing is that she has a profit from this. And a good, kind girl will never impose her person on him – if she wants, let her devote time to what and to whom he wants to devote it.
Given all this, men will be able to distinguish in reality real love from fake, to distinguish a good girl from a toxic one. This will help us (and you) to build good, harmonious, healthy relationships and create a friendly, strong family!